It really does.
When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older. The freedom and the options that were available seemed countless. I think though, that when I wanted to be older, I just wanted to be in my twenties and thirties. I didn't really consider my 40's and beyond.
Now, readers of my blogs past know that my 30's were kind of a bust. Filled with babies, school, work and drunk husbands. So I didn't enjoy them quite the way I expected to. So I figure that I will make up for that in my 40's. yah!
Except getting older means BEING older. It's not just the freedom and the options. It also means the responsibilities, and living with the knowledge of BETTER. I know better than to act crazy. I know that while I have freedoms and options, I know better than to exercise them all. Being older and having kids means mom stuff. Cooking, cleaning, driving, counseling, scolding and all that other shit we have to do. Being older means bills, and debt, and groceries.
Being older also comes with a price. The 'older body'. This is when we truly pay for the advice we didn't take in our earlier years. Not wearing good support bras while developing means our tits are no longer perky. Not eating right while pregnant means the endless struggle to get rid of this "I had kids" body. Not exercising as a habit means having to muster up the energy to start later in life, and that is no easy task. This body that aches when I sleep a little bit wrong. Skin that I didn't properly moisturize in my 20's means fine, or NOT so fine lines in my 40's.
I don't even know what I could have done better to avoid a little peeing when I laugh, sneeze or basically breathe too loudly. More kegels? Perhaps.
The peri-menopausal nonsense has been lingering for a year or so now. The night sweats are the worst. Waking up cold and dewy from sweat is not going to have me leaping out of bed thinking, "what a great day this is going to be!" I wake up hoping that it's sweat and not pee. And being so damn cold, I don't want to get out from under the covers. And thinking about how I need to wash the sheets, again.
I have found that the best way to stop the incontinence is to wear a tampon. It blocks off just enough of the urethra. They make special tampons for this, but they cost twice as much, so why bother? The problem with this is that I still have to wear a damn tampon all day, when I'm not on my period. And while I'm at it, when is THAT bleeding nonsense going to end?? Its bad enough that my peri-menopausal periods means I'm spotting for almost a week before and after a 2 day period. I have no use for my uterus anymore. You can hear the eggs screaming as the fall into oblivion. There will be no more babies. Can you just NOT?
When I see women my age and beyond. I see how gorgeous they look and how put together they seem. Sometimes I admit I am snarky about it, but they are my age, so I know they are going thru this shit too. It's not just me. So ladies, I salute you. It really does take A LOT to look as good as you do. There's a lot going on under the surface.
Nobody 'woke up like this'.