The prowler that wasn't

So the other night I was in my room and I could hear something in the backyard.  It wasn't wind.  There were footsteps.  Just outside my patio door.

Shit. Shit. SHIT

So I get out of bed and reach for the gun.  I wasn't really sure what to do.  Should I chamber a round so the person could hear it?  Should I yell out the patio door, "I called the police. And I have a gun!"?  Instead I decided to go down the hallway and look out the patio door by the kitchen. 

I moved slowly, watching the boys bedroom doors so they don't come out and see me holding a weapon.  When I got to the end of the hall I still wasn't ENTIRELY sure what I was going to do.  I thought I should have a fucking plan.  I really should have a Standard of Operation here.  I should know what to do. 

The thing is I know what I can do in regards to actually shooting.  I know that I can't shoot someone who isn't in my house.  I know that if that person isn't armed, and isn't trying to hurt me, I can't shoot them.  To be honest, I am not even sure I WOULD shoot.  I'd like to think I'd be brave enough to protect myself of my children if I have to.  At this point, I won't know until I have to. 

So the gun, at this moment, is a scare tactic.

I come around the corner, facing the patio door.  I have a stance.  Legs shoulder width apart.  Knees slightly bent.  Gun forward. 

And there he was.

My dog.

Fucking MAX! 

When I locked up the house, his crate door was closed so I assumed he was inside.  He wasn't.  He didn't bother to bark or anything to let me know he was outside, he just decided to walk around outside my door.  I felt really ridiculous. So I set the gun down and let the dog in.  Give him a few pets and apologize for pointing a gun at him.  He didn't care.  He was not at all impressed by my "stance." 

This is the shit that happens to me!  I continually tell the Man that he has hooked up with Lucy Ricardo.

--
Later, the Man asked if I had a bullet in the chamber.  I didn't.  He reminded me that I should have put one in the chamber, because if you NEED to chamber your weapon, it can be too late.  check.  No matter though, I wasn't going to shoot the dog. 

I do realize that I practiced very bad knowledge of protecting myself.  I have since discussed it with the man, and I now have a plan.