So the other night I was in my room and I could hear something in the backyard. It wasn't wind. There were footsteps. Just outside my patio door.
Shit. Shit. SHIT
So I get out of bed and reach for the gun. I wasn't really sure what to do. Should I chamber a round so the person could hear it? Should I yell out the patio door, "I called the police. And I have a gun!"? Instead I decided to go down the hallway and look out the patio door by the kitchen.
I moved slowly, watching the boys bedroom doors so they don't come out and see me holding a weapon. When I got to the end of the hall I still wasn't ENTIRELY sure what I was going to do. I thought I should have a fucking plan. I really should have a Standard of Operation here. I should know what to do.
The thing is I know what I can do in regards to actually shooting. I know that I can't shoot someone who isn't in my house. I know that if that person isn't armed, and isn't trying to hurt me, I can't shoot them. To be honest, I am not even sure I WOULD shoot. I'd like to think I'd be brave enough to protect myself of my children if I have to. At this point, I won't know until I have to.
So the gun, at this moment, is a scare tactic.
I come around the corner, facing the patio door. I have a stance. Legs shoulder width apart. Knees slightly bent. Gun forward.
And there he was.
When I locked up the house, his crate door was closed so I assumed he was inside. He wasn't. He didn't bother to bark or anything to let me know he was outside, he just decided to walk around outside my door. I felt really ridiculous. So I set the gun down and let the dog in. Give him a few pets and apologize for pointing a gun at him. He didn't care. He was not at all impressed by my "stance."
This is the shit that happens to me! I continually tell the Man that he has hooked up with Lucy Ricardo.
Later, the Man asked if I had a bullet in the chamber. I didn't. He reminded me that I should have put one in the chamber, because if you NEED to chamber your weapon, it can be too late. check. No matter though, I wasn't going to shoot the dog.
I do realize that I practiced very bad knowledge of protecting myself. I have since discussed it with the man, and I now have a plan.