before the reunion

I asked SR tonight if he would go with me to my 25 year high school reunion.

First, I know what you are thinking, 25 years?  Who has a reunion at 25 years?  Didn't you catty bitches get together at 20 years?  Why, yes we did.  We had a blast.  I suppose that is why they are having another one just 5 years later, because we are so damn special that we have to celebrate our escape from high school every 5 years until more than 50% of the student body is dead.  Then we'll go every 10.

My 20 year reunion was a lot of fun and while I made the HORRIBLE mistake of driving home drunk, that won't happen again.

I didn't MEAN to drive home drunk.  When you have your last drink at 11pm and it's now 2AM, you don't think you are still drunk.  I didn't think I was drunk at 11pm.  Sure I had a good buzz on me, but nothing that should not have worn off in 4 hours.  It wasn't until I got out of the car that I realized I was drunk, because I didn't just get out of the car- I fell out.  I actually FELL and hit the ground.  My first thought was OH SHIT, that was a bad idea.  My next thought was- how am I supposed to actually get into my apartment.

So I won't be driving drunk this year.  If I don't have a designated driver, I will probably only have one drink, if I drink at all- although I suspect the alcohol was part of the reason I was having such a great time having gone alone with no bestie in tow.

The husband is 2 years gone now, and he went to high school with me- so I suspect people may ask me the questions about what happened to him.  It's one of those questions that I always hate to answer for people who knew and remembered him fondly.  It feels shitty to tell the ugly truth to people who knew him in 2nd grade.  That just seems mean.

Part of the reason I want to go is because I actually DO keep in touch with some of these people.  I see them on Facebook on an almost daily basis and if I was a more "get out of the house and meet for drinks" kind of person, I might actually hang out with many of them.  I am fascinated by their lives.  I love seeing vacation pictures and I'm astonished that the girls I thought were so beautiful and fantastic in high school, still seem beautiful and fantastic.  It's not jealousy or envy, it's just a fact.  I know, however, that everyone is fantastic on Facebook.  If people were posting about their shitty job, cheating spouses, or the pile of bills they would be judged as whiners.  So of course we talk about how fantastic life is, because that is what Facebook and reunions are all about.  Looking fantastic and then getting together to prove it, even if it isn't true.

My hope is that they will not ask me too many questions or make stupid remarks about my alternative lifestyle.  Although I'm sure it will come up at one point or another.  I'm ok with that.  I knew putting my life out there that people may ask questions about it.  If I was ashamed of it, I wouldn't have put it on facebook.  Facebook is no place for shame.

Oh, I had a point with this.

I asked SR if he wanted to come with me and he said, "ummmm maybe."  Which is closer to "yes" than "we'll see" which means no.  In truth, I don't care if he comes with me or not.  I am used to going to social things alone and I do well at socializing and slipping out when nobody is paying attention.    That way I don't get the "ohhh are you leaving already?" question even though we have long run out of things to talk about.

I am trying not to have too high of expectations because the 20 was so great, the 25 could be a horrible bust.  I suspect less people will travel if they were here just 5 years ago.  No matter, I plan to show up, have a fabulous time, and slip out when nobody is paying attention.  That's how I roll, and also how I don't feel weird leaving alone.  It's odd to walk out of a loud room filled with people who are so happy to see you, and then be out in the parking lot by myself.  There's something weird and sad feeling about it, and I'd rather not make the rounds of goodbyes- only to end up in the parking lot alone.

However SR may come with me, and when I'm out with him I always feel like a million bucks.  He makes me feel comfortable and our mixed anxiety about the noise and the crowd brings us together.  Also, it's nice to have someone to grab onto in case I trip in my heels.  If I go alone, I will not be wearing heels.

The tickets are a bit pricey, but I don't think they are any more than they were 5 years ago.  It's nice that inflation has not effected the reunion market.  I already have the perfect dress to wear and this is a good excuse to get my nails done again.  I will have to color the gray out of my hair, but I'm proud of myself for not giving a damn about this to kill myself losing weight before this thing.  It's been 25 years, if anyone is going to judge me for the size of my ass- well they can kiss it in the process.

Bring it on reunion!

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