Yesterday was my big meeting. Here's how my morning went.
6:00 Alarm goes off
6:06 Alarm goes off again
6:12 Turn alarm off and lay in bed calculating how much time it will take for me to get ready in order to be at meeting on time.
6:30 get out of bed and let Max outside
6:45 check the time and realize I forgot to buy coffee creamer on my way to turn on my keurig. Remember that I have some powdered creamer stashed in pantry.
6:50 do my hair
6:52 open my makeup bag to eye that my black eyeshadow had broken and has covered everything inside my bag.
6:53 venture to kitchen to make coffee and get a pair of gloves.
6:54 - 6:58 search for powdered creamer remembering I gave it to SR for the boat. Curse myself for not buying milk.
6:59 apply makeup using gloved hand to reach into bag and not get it all over my hands
7:10 check traffic on Google maps and plan to leave house by 7:40.
7:11-7:15 check email and quickly puruse Facebook
7:15 lock psycho kitty in the bathroom because that bitch will attack while I'll trying to put on my nylons
7:16-7:20 search for cigarette, forcing me to allow psycho kitty out of the bathroom
7:21 lock psycho kitty back in bathroom
7:22 check traffic again to see if traffic has gotten worse in past 12 minutes. It has. Plan to leave house at 7:35
7:24 put on cute flowy black skirt and green top
7:26 contemplate jewelry, but the only earring/ necklace set I have is gold and my shirt has silver accents. Wonder why I don't have more earrings. I love earrings.
7:28 carefully put on Hanes Queen 2 nylons marveling at how smart I am for thinking to ban the psycho kitty from running my nylons with her claws of doom
7:29 search for shoes maneuvering around the house being sure not to brush my leg up against anything
7:31 find shoes, purse, and e-cig.
7:33, let psycho kitty out of the bathroom by opening the door slightly giving myself time to exit the bedroom before psycho kitty attacks my legs, and ruins my nylons
7:34 exit house through the garage and walk to car
7:35 re-enter house to find keys, go back to the car
7:38 re-enter garage for soda, go back to the car
7:39 re-enter bedroom for lipstick, dodging and waving a t-shirt at the psycho kitty to keep her away from my legs. GET BACK EVIL FELINE!
7:41 get back in car, check traffic again. Travel time has increased by 8 minutes in past 20 minutes.
7:43 exit my neighborhood wondering why Google maps does not think I know how to navigate out of my own neighborhood. Remember how many times I have, in fact, gotten lost inside this neighborhood.
7:45-8:20 marvel at the fact that there is no traffic going in this direction while I drive and incessantly check, to make sure I'm going in the right direction. Practically perform fellatio on my Dr Pepper in order not to spill any on my shirt.
8:20-8:22 Arrive at location and double check directions to make sure I'm at the right address and correct building. Still in the car, finish soda, apply lipstick- snap photo of said lipstick and send to the girls to make sure it's not too much red.
8:23 girl parked in the car next to me reaches into her car on the passenger side. Flashes me adorable blue and white polka-dot panties. Facebook the event
8:25 exit car and go into big meeting, amazed that I have not run my nylons or spilled soda in my shirt.
We'll see if it pays off. I'll let you know.